It’s okay if a crazy person hates you.
“
| — | Ponder Matthews |
Currently considering writing an adult (marijuana) version of this Shel Silverstein classic.
(Source: soicanbelikeyou)
RON PAUL 2012!
As many of you may know, I am a fervent (& occasionally militant) advocate for Ron Paul, the 76 year, 916 month, 3,985 week, 2,7895 day, 669,498 hour and 40,169,933 minute year-old candidate for the Republican Party for President of the U.S. in the 2012 election. As many more of you may know, Ron Paul’s, (I would imagine) liver-spotted septuagenarian *expletive* doesn’t stand a chance in*expletive* of winning this thing or even mustering up enough energy to stay up late enough to catch Fox’s The X Factor for that matter… It’s nice to imagine though, right? Well ladies & ladymen, that is exactly why this post was written. I have decided to birth this soon-to-be-overlooked-by-flashy-.gifs-tumblr-post in order to highlight (via comedic futuristic narrative story) all (or until i get bored or fall asleep from the two beers i had prior to this) of the happenings & events that COULD come into fulfillment this upcoming year but *expletive* won’t, ergo the title, ‘Ron Paul 2012’. disfrutar!
Date: Exactly a year from today - Quarter til midnight…
I cannot believe it’s been a full year since I wrote that eerily ominous introduction full of sarcastic foreshadowing. I hope this mumblrplanet post finds you well. My apologies, I neglected to note that the ‘tumblr’ you once knew is now called ‘mumblrplanet’, after being bought out by the #1 & #2 social networking sites in the world, Myspace & Black Planet. There have been a myriad of life-altering changes within the past year, e.g. a year is no longer the traditional 365 days to which you were once accustomed, but 418 days in order to account for the days that were lost due to that NBA lockout. The extension of our calendar has been quite beneficial to say the least. I know that a year ago, I mean a year & 53 days ago, there was a lot of talk about the impending apocalypse & the Mayans or Aztecs or whomever. Well, believe it or not the apocalypse actually happened, only nobody really noticed or cared much being that marijuana use became legal under the supervision of our newly elected president & NWO Emperor, Ronald Ernest Paul.
Yea, I guess one could say we’ve got things pretty nice here as we approach 2013. Did I mention the entire cast of MTV’s The Jersey Shore died in a tragic (but not that tragic) plane crash piloted by Drake? Yep, and on top of that, all of the major banks went bankrupt (ha!) and now serve as town halls for the occupy people. Yea, they’re still out there & it makes as much sense now as it did a year & 53 days ago. If you were wondering whatever happened to Herman Cain, he never got back into the political race but did focus his energies on a more philanthropic course, using a large portion of his campaign contributions to form The Herman Cain Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Speak in 3rd Person and Do Other Stuff Good Too. They’re nationwide.
Fashion hasn’t changed much, although it IS customary now to always wear Nike Marty McFly’s, which surprisingly has been great for lowering the national crime-rate. Very little crime is committed after dusk now. I would be remiss if I did not mention some of the scientific and technological advances that have transpired. Blackberry has come out with a new phone much like the Iphone 4s with a feature very similar to Siri called ‘Iris’. It’s pretty much the same technology but the voice is an octave deeper & it’s ¥100 cheaper, (Oh yea, we use yuan/yen now). Everyone drives hybrid hover cars…which *expletive* sucks. Air Travel is twice as fast now & much more affordable, unless you’re flying Delta, their prices have not budged an inch.
As you can see, a lot has happened this past year among a list of other things I have not mentioned such as Kim Kardashian marrying the baby from Dexter, the kids from Odd Future coming out with a children’s-based television show that airs on PBS, nobody still giving a *expletive* about stem-cell research, Space Jam 2 & a series of terrorist attacks on Urban Outfitter stores worldwide. I Can only pray that the year 2013 proves to be as exciting as this year & 53 days has been. Peace & eternal blessings to you all.
Yours Truly, Ponder.
Long Live Emperor Paul!
P.s. Feel Free to Follow me on TwitteredIn: @IAMPonder
Inside Out Boy….An Album SPEAK!
“Inside Out Boy” ft production by The Super3,Afta-1, Left Brain,Alf Alfa & Lord Botch. Click album art to download.
